08/26/2005 - HOT TEXAS DAYS...

Yes, It's been rather hot here in Texas lately. But I'm not complaining (not much anyway) because I can usually be found in the A/C. Amazing thing, air conditioning... I have often said that I could not live without it - and yet I know that for eons, people did live without it. I suppose I really mean I don't want to live without it - EVER! And not just the cool air - but also the warm air in winter. To those of you who have only heard of Texas but never been here - it DOES get cold. Not that we have spectacular winters or anything like that. We usually have the occasional ice storm, freezing rain and ever-so-rarely, something that resembles snow but is coarser and never lasts long. We also get a lot of wind. Combine freezing temperatures with wind and some sleet thrown in for fun and you can see why we might want to have a heated home, office, and car! But for today - I'm thankful for electrically cooled air! It really is best for me. Ask my wife! Often she has told others "you do NOT want him to get hot!" and she means it. There is something about an elevated body temperature that makes me a bit surly. Even just hot air hitting my face is enough to make me scowl and bitch a little (under my breath). I am not proud of the fact - but I do acknoweldge it.

Today, I'm cool. Not that I'm walking around like the Fonz in my leather jacket or anything - but my body temperature is comfortable and I'm in a good mood to boot! I guess my team-mates here in the office should consider themselves lucky huh? C'mon! I'm not THAT bad!

I am looking forward to this weekend. Not because of any specific plans but because it has been a rather hectic and draining week. Work has really picked up for me and shows no sign of slowing down. This is all good as I have not really been "challenged" at work for some time now. I'm moving into a new position with new responsibilities, new team members and new management. Good thing I'm not devastated by change - it could be overwhelming!

I've also been emotionally taxed this week as I consider what is going on in my personal life and how everyone is affected by decisions I and they make. It's a bit scary when you start really examining things you've done and decisions you have made. For examply, decisions I've made, thinking they are what is "best" for everyone - may truly not be what is best. They may just be what is easiest. Working through those kinds of issues is important, but should be handled slowly, deliberately and with great caution. I try to lean away from making assumptions and get down to basic facts. However, in terms of emotional issues - facts can be completely useless. So there - that is just a "taste" of where my mind and heart has been this week. I don't have any great secrets or revelations to announce - so for now- it is business as usual. I continue my journey one step at a time - and I still consider myself lucky that I don't have to travel alone.

Spiritually, I've also been mulling over my future direction. I love my church and the direction it is taking - but lately I've felt less and less inclined to go. I've been examining these feelings and I think that maybe I should consider "moving on" and taking what I know to be true for me spiritually - with me to another place. The people at my current church are wonderful and very loving and supportive. Several (if not all) now know about my relationship situation and have either offered their continued love and support or have said nothing at all. Still, I have felt a pull to examine other places of worship. I will need to continue examining my feelings, and along with my family and loved ones - decide what is best for the future.

So - you can see I have a LOT going on. But life is good - even when it doesn't feel peachy - it is fertile and offers MUCH room for growth! Praise God!

Please remember to listen to each other... try to understand each other... reach out to each other... forgive each other and above all - love each other!

WOOF ya later!
- bbw