Remember this buzzword: WYSIWYG? (pronounced wizzeewig) which stood for What You See Is What You Get...
For some reason today that kinda sums up me feelings. I'm not sure if it is because of the overcast weather, or the humid, muggy feeling in the air outside, or simply the fact that this has been a blah week at work, but I'm worn out.
Yesterday, my 21st anniversary, was actually a good day. Perhaps I'm coming down from that and by comparison this day is just phooey... actually - as I typed that last line, it struck me! I know exactly why I'm a bit bummed... it is my work anniversary today! I've been here for 7 LONG years.
Now isn't that sad? I should be happy to have a job. I should be pleased that I was not laid-off during the countless staff reductions I've survived over the past 7 years. I should be happy that my wage is on-par with others in my field of work. I should be glad that I enjoy working with my team-members. There is so much I should be happy about and grateful for... but for some reason - all of that is buried beneath a cloud of blah today. Instead of counting my blessings today - I've been contemplating the reason I come to this job at all. Yes, I need to get paid. And yes, I need to be productive. But sitting in an all-day workshop on Tuesday - I looked around the room of "professionals" and wondered to myself - why are we all here? What are we trying to accomplish and what difference will it make in the world? What difference will it make in people's lives? Sure, we are trying to improve the nature of the way we run our corporation - and thus make the company more profitable - but who will that really impact? The shareholders. The executives. Some of the project managers. And after reviewing that list I wonder to myself how really important all that is. I don't have a good, solid answer - but the answer deep down inside feels like "not very".
I know this is part of my inner reflection to find my true self and my true calling. I don't feel that I'm called to work in this corporation for the next 7 years. I don't feel called to work for any corporation for the rest of my working career. I do feel called to be creative - to be helpful to others - to follow my passion and to inspire passion in others. So how do I get there? Well - my photography business is one way - but will it really take off? Will it really inspire me and others? I don't know, and today, I don't have the energy to search too deeply for an answer.
So, for today - WYSIWYG!
WOOF ya later!
- bbw
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