01/08/2008 – TIME MARCHES ON...

Another year gone and a new one sitting in front of us, already slipping under our feet, begging the question… “what will you do with me?” What indeed.

It’s not a question I like to take lightly because I truly believe that time is one of our most valuable resources, yet it is a question I find completely perplexing and difficult to answer. There are so many things I WANT to do, but I really don’t have a clue as to what I will ACTUALLY do this year. And yes I know, that’s pretty much a cop-out for an answer – but it’s honest nonetheless.

When I start to think about making plans, setting goals, jotting lists and then executing those, my head begins to spin, I get dizzy, my palms sweat and I feel faint. I’m emotionally unprepared to actually “see” myself in the future. Not that I don’t spend more than my fair share of time dreaming, because I do! But when it comes down to practicality, I’m more of a “here and now” kinda guy! I’ve always been that way. So you can probably guess that I’m not really strong when it comes to saving, or building up an investment portfolio. I don’t have a documented and charted five or ten year goal worksheet or checklist. What I do have is a crystal clear notion that I DON’T want to be where I am now in 10 years, and I DO want to be somewhere else! But I don’t have more than a foggy notion of what that journey will look like or where it will end up. And, for the most part, I’m ok with that.

From what I’ve seen in this life, most things “planned” don’t even turn out the way we first envisioned them. I’ve also learned that the quickest way to disappointment is through expectation, especially when it comes to dealing with other people. So, I guess you could say that I’ve fashioned my life to be somewhat of a loosely planned, one-day-at-a time, creatively-directed and spiritually-open adventure of sorts. While I have a full-time “day job” I have many other “hobbies” that don’t generate any real income at this time, but they do bring a “return” of sorts. In the future that may change and I may actually be able to make a tangible living with these more creative pursuits, but for now, they all serve a purpose.

And what about changes? Things constantly change around us. 2007 was a big year for changes around our home! My partner and I moved back into the house and started much-needed renovations. My son graduated from high school and enrolled in college! (YAY him!) My daughter moved out of the house and into an apartment she shares with her boyfriend. My wife started school, moved out of the house into her own apartment and then started divorce proceedings (YAY her!) And these are only a FEW of the year’s highlights! If you had asked which of these were planned at the beginning of the year, I think only the high school graduation was high on the list of hopeful (if questionable!). The divorce may also have seemed inevitable to some, but even at the beginning of 2007 there was no conscious thought of “this is the year”. But like I said, things change – and people change.

So with all these factors to consider, how am I supposed to know right here and now what I am going to do with 2008? I planned a birthday party for Al this coming Friday. What happens if I get hit with a bus on Thursday? See what I mean? Yes it’s silly not to plan at all – but how far out is too far? I guess that’s different for everyone. Unfortunately, my reach isn’t that far. So far this year I’ve planned: a dinner for Al and I to celebrate on his actual birthday, a dinner party to help celebrate Al’s birthday with friends, time off to be with Al when he is having back surgery and a VERY tentative schedule of my vacation days for the year. Beyond that – nothing has been planned. I know I will end up doing other things. Al and I like to stay active and love to get involved in volunteer activities, particularly if they are coupled with art-related events. So we’re always looking for those types of things to plug into.

Then there’s travel! I love to “get out and about” whether that’s across town, across the state, across the country or around the world! I’ve been known to leave town on a whim with no bags packed at all. That works when it’s a weekend trip and you aren’t going too far, but generally trips take a bit more planning and preparation. So here I am challenged once again. Last summer a friend approached me about a cruise coming up in February of 2008. I immediately told him to discuss it with Al because that kind of planning stressed me out. I joked with him about my blood pressure – but I was only partially joking. It really does stress me out to have to make concrete plans that far into the future. I have no idea why I’m wired like that. I just am. It’s weird.

So, 2008, I welcome you. I’m not sure what you have in store for me. And I’m not at all certain what I have planned for you. But between the two of us, I think we can make it one helluva good year!

Happy New Year everyone!
Make it the best it can be!

WOOF ya later!
~ bbw