Below is an article originally published in USA Today on November 20, 2006. So it’s a bit over a year old now but I had never seen it before and found it very well written and thought provoking. I thought some of you might find it interesting as well. Enjoy.
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When religion loses its credibility By Oliver "Buzz" Thomas
What if Christian leaders are wrong about homosexuality? I suppose, much as a newspaper maintains its credibility by setting the record straight, church leaders would need to do the same:
Correction: Despite what you might have read, heard or been taught throughout your churchgoing life, homosexuality is, in fact, determined at birth and is not to be condemned by God's followers.
Based on a few recent headlines, we won't be seeing that admission anytime soon. Last week, U.S. Roman Catholic bishops took the position that homosexual attractions are "disordered" and that gays should live closeted lives of chastity. At the same time, North Carolina's Baptist State Convention was preparing to investigate churches that are too gay-friendly. Even the more liberal Presbyterian Church (USA) had been planning to put a minister on trial for conducting a marriage ceremony for two women before the charges were dismissed on a technicality. All this brings me back to the question: What if we're wrong?
Religion's only real commodity, after all, is its moral authority. Lose that, and we lose our credibility. Lose credibility, and we might as well close up shop.
It's happened to Christianity before, most famously when we dug in our heels over Galileo's challenge to the biblical view that the Earth, rather than the sun, was at the center of our solar system. You know the story. Galileo was persecuted for what turned out to be incontrovertibly true. For many, especially in the scientific community, Christianity never recovered.
This time, Christianity is in danger of squandering its moral authority by continuing its pattern of discrimination against gays and lesbians in the face of mounting scientific evidence that sexual orientation has little or nothing to do with choice. To the contrary, whether sexual orientation arises as a result of the mother's hormones or the child's brain structure or DNA, it is almost certainly an accident of birth. The point is this: Without choice, there can be no moral culpability.
Answer in Scriptures:
So, why are so many church leaders (not to mention Orthodox Jewish and Muslim leaders) persisting in their view that homosexuality is wrong despite a growing stream of scientific evidence that is likely to become a torrent in the coming years? The answer is found in Leviticus 18. "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination."
As a former "the Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it" kind of guy, I am sympathetic with any Christian who accepts the Bible at face value. But here's the catch. Leviticus is filled with laws imposing the death penalty for everything from eating catfish to sassing your parents. If you accept one as the absolute, unequivocal word of God, you must accept them all.
For many of gay America's loudest critics, the results are unthinkable. First, no more football. At least not without gloves. Handling a pig skin is an abomination. Second, no more Saturday games even if you can get a new ball. Violating the Sabbath is a capital offense according to Leviticus. For the over-40 crowd, approaching the altar of God with a defect in your sight is taboo, but you'll have plenty of company because those menstruating or with disabilities are also barred.
The truth is that mainstream religion has moved beyond animal sacrifice, slavery and the host of primitive rituals described in Leviticus centuries ago. Selectively hanging onto these ancient proscriptions for gays and lesbians exclusively is unfair according to anybody's standard of ethics. We lawyers call it "selective enforcement," and in civil affairs it's illegal.
A better reading of Scripture starts with the book of Genesis and the grand pronouncement about the world God created and all those who dwelled in it. "And, the Lord saw that it was good." If God created us and if everything he created is good, how can a gay person be guilty of being anything more than what God created him or her to be?
Turning to the New Testament, the writings of the Apostle Paul at first lend credence to the notion that homosexuality is a sin, until you consider that Paul most likely is referring to the Roman practice of pederasty, a form of pedophilia common in the ancient world. Successful older men often took boys into their homes as concubines, lovers or sexual slaves. Today, such sexual exploitation of minors is no longer tolerated. The point is that the sort of long-term, committed, same-sex relationships that are being debated today are not addressed in the New Testament. It distorts the biblical witness to apply verses written in one historical context (i.e. sexual exploitation of children) to contemporary situations between two monogamous partners of the same sex. Sexual promiscuity is condemned by the Bible whether it's between gays or straights. Sexual fidelity is not.
What would Jesus do?
For those who have lingering doubts, dust off your Bibles and take a few hours to reacquaint yourself with the teachings of Jesus. You won't find a single reference to homosexuality. There are teachings on money, lust, revenge, divorce, fasting and a thousand other subjects, but there is nothing on homosexuality. Strange, don't you think, if being gay were such a moral threat?
On the other hand, Jesus spent a lot of time talking about how we should treat others. First, he made clear it is not our role to judge. It is God's. ("Judge not lest you be judged." Matthew 7:1) And, second, he commanded us to love other people as we love ourselves.
So, I ask you. Would you want to be discriminated against? Would you want to lose your job, housing or benefits because of something over which you had no control? Better yet, would you like it if society told you that you couldn't visit your lifelong partner in the hospital or file a claim on his behalf if he were murdered?
The suffering that gay and lesbian people have endured at the hands of religion is incalculable, but they can look expectantly to the future for vindication. Scientific facts, after all, are a stubborn thing. Even our religious beliefs must finally yield to them as the church in its battle with Galileo ultimately realized. But for religion, the future might be ominous. Watching the growing conflict between medical science and religion over homosexuality is like watching a train wreck from a distance. You can see it coming for miles and sense the inevitable conclusion, but you're powerless to stop it. The more church leaders dig in their heels, the worse it's likely to be.
Oliver "Buzz" Thomas is a Baptist minister and author of an upcoming book, 10 Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You (But Can't Because He Needs the Job).
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So - I suppose we could "choose" to hide and pretend to not be gay, or bi or whatever we are that is different than someone else just so that they can feel more comfortable or better about themselves, but as for me, I'm thinkin... NAHHHH!
I hope your December is off to a GREAT START and that your Christmas is shaping up to be a wonderful one!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Monday, December 03, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
11/09/2007 - TIME STILL FLYIN'...
So... I haven't really put anything new out here since June. But that doesn't mean nothing has been going on in my life. Quite the contrary, a lot has been happening.
My youngest graduated high school and we are now going through the enrollment process to get him started in college. We're all excited about that!
My daughter has been working for the same company for some time now and has taken a break from school but is re-enrolling next semester because she wants to make sure and get her degree now. She has a really nice boyfriend and about a two months ago the two of them moved out of the house and into their own apartment. That took some getting used to for me, and I guess in some ways I'm still adjusting. She's always been "Daddy's Girl" and I worry a lot about her and her health. So it's been hard in some ways for me to let go. But just like I need to let her have her freedom and "grow up" - I need to do some of the same. I'm just glad she didn't move to another city or another state. This way, I still get to see her quite often!
A few days after my daughter and her boyfriend moved out, my wife decided to do the same thing. Only I guess it slipped her mind to let me know because she pretty much had some of her friends help her load up just about everything that was ours (now hers) that she could find room for, and was gone by the time I returned from work at the end of the day. To this day I'm not sure why she chose to do things that way - but what is done is done. She's since filed the divorce proceedings and we are in the process of taking care of that.
The house has kept us busy as well. There's still quite a bit of work to do. Hopefully we can get some painting done before we decorate for Christmas! That's going to take some dedication though! We've already repainted my daughter's old room but we want to try and get the living and dining rooms done soon.
We have a few art fundraiser opportunities coming up soon. We were too busy to participate in submitting works for the Artists Against AIDS fundraiser in October, but we were able to support the event by volunteering our time as bartenders for the event. We had an absolute blast! It was such a worthy and well-attended event. We will definitely make time and plan better next year! Art Conspiracy 3 is coming up the weekend of December 9th and we are planning to be a part of that event again this year. If you've never been - please come check it out! More information can be found at http://www.artconspiracy.org/. Then, in early 2008, there will be an event called the Free Range Art Project benefiting the Bishop Arts District in Oak Cliff. It is the first year for this project and already is shaping up to be a great event.
So, as you can see, my life is in continuous forward motion, and always FULL FULL FULL of things to do, places to be, people to see, and of course there’s work too! I passed my 9th anniversary at my company in August. It was NOT a happy day! I’ve never worked for one company for so long in my life! I vowed to myself I would not be there for my 10th, but in all honesty, if things change (and they are constantly changing!) and that change is for the better… well then maybe being there is a good thing for me. Time will tell. In the meantime, I’m keeping my eyes open for other opportunities and I’m dreaming BIG!
Speaking of anniversaries… this is the eve of mine and Al’s third anniversary. Three years… all I can say is WOW! Another big surprise. I remember meeting him in person for the first time three years ago. I remember where I was in my life at that time. I remember the weather. I remember my state of mind and the state of my spirit at the time. I remember being unavailable for a relationship with anyone. I remember telling him that – repeatedly. I remember the movie we saw with a group that used to meet weekly. I remember chatting with him online for almost a year prior to actually meeting in person. I remember my impression of him from our online chats and I remember my first impression of him as he walked up the steps to say hello in front of the theater. I remember our first touch, as I held his hand in the dark… and I remember how he trembled. In the three years we’ve been together, I remember so many things, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten more than I should as well. But at the moment, I’m ok with that, because I still have him with me, at my side day by day, to remind me with his smile, his eyes, his touch, his gentleness and his love. For 45 years now I’ve been on this planet, and for the last three of those years, I’ve finally been shown what it is like to be loved completely, unashamedly and unselfishly. And so you find me here now, a bit dazed and confused at how all these blessings could actually be coming to me, but content in the knowledge that I am the luckiest and most blessed man on this earth.
Thank you Al. I love you too.
Needless to say, since time is still flyin', I must be havin' fun!!!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
My youngest graduated high school and we are now going through the enrollment process to get him started in college. We're all excited about that!
My daughter has been working for the same company for some time now and has taken a break from school but is re-enrolling next semester because she wants to make sure and get her degree now. She has a really nice boyfriend and about a two months ago the two of them moved out of the house and into their own apartment. That took some getting used to for me, and I guess in some ways I'm still adjusting. She's always been "Daddy's Girl" and I worry a lot about her and her health. So it's been hard in some ways for me to let go. But just like I need to let her have her freedom and "grow up" - I need to do some of the same. I'm just glad she didn't move to another city or another state. This way, I still get to see her quite often!
A few days after my daughter and her boyfriend moved out, my wife decided to do the same thing. Only I guess it slipped her mind to let me know because she pretty much had some of her friends help her load up just about everything that was ours (now hers) that she could find room for, and was gone by the time I returned from work at the end of the day. To this day I'm not sure why she chose to do things that way - but what is done is done. She's since filed the divorce proceedings and we are in the process of taking care of that.
The house has kept us busy as well. There's still quite a bit of work to do. Hopefully we can get some painting done before we decorate for Christmas! That's going to take some dedication though! We've already repainted my daughter's old room but we want to try and get the living and dining rooms done soon.
We have a few art fundraiser opportunities coming up soon. We were too busy to participate in submitting works for the Artists Against AIDS fundraiser in October, but we were able to support the event by volunteering our time as bartenders for the event. We had an absolute blast! It was such a worthy and well-attended event. We will definitely make time and plan better next year! Art Conspiracy 3 is coming up the weekend of December 9th and we are planning to be a part of that event again this year. If you've never been - please come check it out! More information can be found at http://www.artconspiracy.org/. Then, in early 2008, there will be an event called the Free Range Art Project benefiting the Bishop Arts District in Oak Cliff. It is the first year for this project and already is shaping up to be a great event.
So, as you can see, my life is in continuous forward motion, and always FULL FULL FULL of things to do, places to be, people to see, and of course there’s work too! I passed my 9th anniversary at my company in August. It was NOT a happy day! I’ve never worked for one company for so long in my life! I vowed to myself I would not be there for my 10th, but in all honesty, if things change (and they are constantly changing!) and that change is for the better… well then maybe being there is a good thing for me. Time will tell. In the meantime, I’m keeping my eyes open for other opportunities and I’m dreaming BIG!
Speaking of anniversaries… this is the eve of mine and Al’s third anniversary. Three years… all I can say is WOW! Another big surprise. I remember meeting him in person for the first time three years ago. I remember where I was in my life at that time. I remember the weather. I remember my state of mind and the state of my spirit at the time. I remember being unavailable for a relationship with anyone. I remember telling him that – repeatedly. I remember the movie we saw with a group that used to meet weekly. I remember chatting with him online for almost a year prior to actually meeting in person. I remember my impression of him from our online chats and I remember my first impression of him as he walked up the steps to say hello in front of the theater. I remember our first touch, as I held his hand in the dark… and I remember how he trembled. In the three years we’ve been together, I remember so many things, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten more than I should as well. But at the moment, I’m ok with that, because I still have him with me, at my side day by day, to remind me with his smile, his eyes, his touch, his gentleness and his love. For 45 years now I’ve been on this planet, and for the last three of those years, I’ve finally been shown what it is like to be loved completely, unashamedly and unselfishly. And so you find me here now, a bit dazed and confused at how all these blessings could actually be coming to me, but content in the knowledge that I am the luckiest and most blessed man on this earth.
Thank you Al. I love you too.
Needless to say, since time is still flyin', I must be havin' fun!!!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Friday, June 29, 2007
06/29/2007 - GETTIN' AROUND...
I recently heard from someone that my partner Al and I have slept “with everyone”. I found the comment interesting because it came from someone I had never met. When I asked him where he’d heard such a thing, he quickly confessed the source and the puzzle began to fall into place.
It’s called drama, in this particular case, big gay drama! It’s like a particular kind of sport, sometimes practiced solo and sometimes fielded in teams. It is the sort of thing that gives the gay community a bad name and leaves a bad taste in the mouths of most decent folk of any orientation.
In Dallas, this sport has been elevated to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised to see a lobby to include it in the next Olympics! Gay Drama is a BIG DEAL in this town! There’s a certain amount of local pride attached that’s much akin to big hair, big oil, big steaks, big handbags, big trucks and the “help keep Dallas pretentious” t-shirts!
After hearing that I had slept with “everyone” I started to wonder if everyone knew. Surely they know – they were THERE weren’t they? I began to wonder if that meant I caught some shut-eye with them, or if it implied a sexual encounter with the entire global population. I chuckled to myself as I considered what kind of time it would take to actually have “close encounters” with just the local Dallas inhabitants, much less everyone everywhere!
At one point, I looked over at Al and asked him what he thought drove someone to say such a thing. Is it a slam against us, like calling us sluts? If so – why is this guy still calling and messaging us? Why is he still trying to get us to travel and visit him and have sex with him? Is he miffed because we haven’t done that? Who really knows? Who really cares? Obviously – I don’t give a hoot-n-nanny beyond just making casual observations about people and what motivates them.
So…
If you are reading this blog and you told someone that “Al and Robb sleep with everyone”, then this is about YOU.
If you didn’t say it – well then it’s about someone else.
If I’ve slept with you – consider yourself one of the lucky few (or many if you believe the other guy).
If I haven’t slept with you – but you want to – how in the hell did I miss you? Tell the other dude he’s wrong – I missed you! Then call me!
If I haven’t slept with you – and you’re still not interested – then quit reading my blog and go find some hot chick or dude you DO wanna make it with and try a line on them!
If I did sleep with you and you didn’t enjoy it – keep your friggin mouth shut! LOL
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
It’s called drama, in this particular case, big gay drama! It’s like a particular kind of sport, sometimes practiced solo and sometimes fielded in teams. It is the sort of thing that gives the gay community a bad name and leaves a bad taste in the mouths of most decent folk of any orientation.
In Dallas, this sport has been elevated to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised to see a lobby to include it in the next Olympics! Gay Drama is a BIG DEAL in this town! There’s a certain amount of local pride attached that’s much akin to big hair, big oil, big steaks, big handbags, big trucks and the “help keep Dallas pretentious” t-shirts!
After hearing that I had slept with “everyone” I started to wonder if everyone knew. Surely they know – they were THERE weren’t they? I began to wonder if that meant I caught some shut-eye with them, or if it implied a sexual encounter with the entire global population. I chuckled to myself as I considered what kind of time it would take to actually have “close encounters” with just the local Dallas inhabitants, much less everyone everywhere!
At one point, I looked over at Al and asked him what he thought drove someone to say such a thing. Is it a slam against us, like calling us sluts? If so – why is this guy still calling and messaging us? Why is he still trying to get us to travel and visit him and have sex with him? Is he miffed because we haven’t done that? Who really knows? Who really cares? Obviously – I don’t give a hoot-n-nanny beyond just making casual observations about people and what motivates them.
So…
If you are reading this blog and you told someone that “Al and Robb sleep with everyone”, then this is about YOU.
If you didn’t say it – well then it’s about someone else.
If I’ve slept with you – consider yourself one of the lucky few (or many if you believe the other guy).
If I haven’t slept with you – but you want to – how in the hell did I miss you? Tell the other dude he’s wrong – I missed you! Then call me!
If I haven’t slept with you – and you’re still not interested – then quit reading my blog and go find some hot chick or dude you DO wanna make it with and try a line on them!
If I did sleep with you and you didn’t enjoy it – keep your friggin mouth shut! LOL
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
06/29/2007 - SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT...
Honesty is the best policy… Really it is! The relationship I have with Al is based on complete and total honesty. That means we don’t lie to each other. It also means we don’t allow lies of omission. But that doesn’t mean we talk about everything. Not immediately anyway.There are times when I have thoughts, like little things that are bothering me. Not things about him, just things about life… things in general. And they are such small things that I feel they aren’t really worth mentioning to him – or maybe just not “right now” - whenever that is.
Other times I may just have a feeling or feelings that I don’t really understand myself. I may associate it with a “bad mood” but I really can’t articulate it. So how do you talk about something you can’t articulate? You just don’t. Sometimes, given more time and perspective, I grow into a better understanding and either the whole issue disappears or I get to a place where I CAN talk about it – and then I do.
Even with these kinds of understandings about myself, it still seems weird to me when I’m in those moments of non-communication, or non-verbal communication.
There have been times when Al and I will be in the same room catching up on email and chatting with friends online when I will come across a chat message from him that he sent either minutes or even seconds ago - and he’s sitting only a few feet or even inches away from me. On occasion I will respond to him verbally, but every so often I will respond with silent key strokes, as if he were a million miles away. And on some rare occasions, we have some rather deep, meaningful, yet silent, conversations that go on for a good length of time like this. With neither of us acknowledging the other in the room.
It’s as if there’s a wall of protection around me, or him, or both of us. I don’t really know what it feels like for him. But there’s an isolationist quality to it that feels somewhat familiar to me – and not altogether bad. I’ve always felt safest when people couldn’t touch me.
Usually these “distant” conversations will be about “little” things that we are feeling that aren’t big enough to come up in everyday conversation, but may have been nagging at the back or our minds and the tips of our tongues. Sometimes they are things that we consider non-issues – but we just want to put out there to clear the air. Dust we’ve swept under the rug that we want to put into the dustbin once and for all. Typically – the virtual conversations are sealed with a virtual kiss, but occasionally we also address each other in person later – expressing gratitude for having had the conversations in the first place and for keeping the lines of communication open – in any form.
In case I haven’t mentioned it here before… I’m a lucky guy.
Just thought you should know.
Hugz to you all, and
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Monday, May 14, 2007
05/14/2007 - MOVING ALONG...
Moving Day… First, it was later than originally planned, and now it seemed sooner than anticipated. After several weeks (or was it months) of renovations, Al and I moved back into the house last night. Even though we all have talked about it, and planned for it to happen… it will take some time to get used to everyone being under the same roof.
The fact that it was Mother’s day seemed a little “disjointed” as well, particularly since my wife did not feel she was shown enough attention or appreciation by myself or her children. So the day was off to a rocky start. But, you know… life is like that sometimes.
It was a good, productive weekend all in all. We finally got my daughter’s new bed together and found her some new bedding. When we got everything in her room it was really stunning. Now we need to get her room painted. We also got the bed in my wife’s room this weekend and the new bedding on there. We just painted her room and shampooed the carpets and moved in the furniture so that room is completely transformed! It looks fantastic.
There’s still a good bit of work to do throughout the house and garage – but now that we are there, it will be easier to schedule.
I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. Part of it was just being keyed up from working non-stop right up to bed-time. I didn’t do anything to “wind down” first and so my mind was still going a mile-a-minute when I laid down. Then it was getting used to the different sounds of the house. All of them familiar to me, but also different that what I had gotten used to at the apartment. I did finally fall asleep sometime between 2 and 3 am.
A big part of it too is that ’m never really at-ease around clutter. Right now, with us in transition, and the house still being worked on, there are things EVERYWHERE! And that kind of environment for some reason fills me with nervous energy. I guess that makes a good case for Feng Shui. I hope I can get the house in good order before my son’s graduation in two weeks. If not – I might be a nervous wreck by then. That would not be good for ANYONE!
I realize that life is also about making things happen. So, I know to have the type of environment I need in order to feel a sense of peace, I have to make it happen. I’m going to have to put forth whatever effort is required to get the clutter either packed away, thrown away or given away so that it does not have a negative effect on me. Big words coming from a pack-rat like me!
So, in the days and weeks ahead of me, I think I’ve got my work cut out for me. Let’s see… there’s more packing, more moving, more unpacking, more sorting, more tossing, more trashing, more donating, more shuffling, more storing, more painting, more spackling, more hanging, more folding, more sweeping, more more more more… there’s just a bunch to do!
Lucky for me – I’m surrounded by wonderful family, friends, and a soon-to-be peacefully un-cluttered home environment! I wish the same for all of you!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
The fact that it was Mother’s day seemed a little “disjointed” as well, particularly since my wife did not feel she was shown enough attention or appreciation by myself or her children. So the day was off to a rocky start. But, you know… life is like that sometimes.
It was a good, productive weekend all in all. We finally got my daughter’s new bed together and found her some new bedding. When we got everything in her room it was really stunning. Now we need to get her room painted. We also got the bed in my wife’s room this weekend and the new bedding on there. We just painted her room and shampooed the carpets and moved in the furniture so that room is completely transformed! It looks fantastic.
There’s still a good bit of work to do throughout the house and garage – but now that we are there, it will be easier to schedule.
I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. Part of it was just being keyed up from working non-stop right up to bed-time. I didn’t do anything to “wind down” first and so my mind was still going a mile-a-minute when I laid down. Then it was getting used to the different sounds of the house. All of them familiar to me, but also different that what I had gotten used to at the apartment. I did finally fall asleep sometime between 2 and 3 am.
A big part of it too is that ’m never really at-ease around clutter. Right now, with us in transition, and the house still being worked on, there are things EVERYWHERE! And that kind of environment for some reason fills me with nervous energy. I guess that makes a good case for Feng Shui. I hope I can get the house in good order before my son’s graduation in two weeks. If not – I might be a nervous wreck by then. That would not be good for ANYONE!
I realize that life is also about making things happen. So, I know to have the type of environment I need in order to feel a sense of peace, I have to make it happen. I’m going to have to put forth whatever effort is required to get the clutter either packed away, thrown away or given away so that it does not have a negative effect on me. Big words coming from a pack-rat like me!
So, in the days and weeks ahead of me, I think I’ve got my work cut out for me. Let’s see… there’s more packing, more moving, more unpacking, more sorting, more tossing, more trashing, more donating, more shuffling, more storing, more painting, more spackling, more hanging, more folding, more sweeping, more more more more… there’s just a bunch to do!
Lucky for me – I’m surrounded by wonderful family, friends, and a soon-to-be peacefully un-cluttered home environment! I wish the same for all of you!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
05/01/2007 - JIMMY CRACKED CORN...
The following opinion is attributed to an anonymous New Jersey housewife. I tend to agree with her sentiment and thought I would share it here.
Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's' capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?
And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all. I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for Incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia. I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat. I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques. I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of Nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs. I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care. When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care. When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care. When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care. And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and - you guessed it - I don't care ! ! ! ! !
If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your e-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior! If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country!
A few last thoughts:
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." -- Ronald Reagan
"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." -- Ronald Reagan
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. One is Jesus Christ, the other is the American G. I.. The first died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out."
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's' capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?
And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all. I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for Incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia. I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat. I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques. I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of Nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs. I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care. When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care. When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care. When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care. And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and - you guessed it - I don't care ! ! ! ! !
If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your e-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior! If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country!
A few last thoughts:
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." -- Ronald Reagan
"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." -- Ronald Reagan
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. One is Jesus Christ, the other is the American G. I.. The first died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out."
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
04/18/2007 - GOOD MANNERS...
During her daily class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked some of her male students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a dinner date with a nice young lady, how would you excuse yourself and let her know that you have to go to the restroom?
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher informed him that it would be rude and impolite to use such vulgar and common language. She turned to another boy.
"What about you Peter?” She asked, “How would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better.” The teacher encouraged, “But it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom to a lady or at the dinner table."
Obviously frustrated, she turned to little Johnny, who had his hand raised and a twinkle in his eye. She didn’t particularly care for him but she was at her wit’s end with the boys so she thought she’d give him a chance. “And you, little Johnny?” She asked, “Can you use your brain for once and show us all some good manners?"
“Why sure, Ma’am” was Johnny’s reply. "I would say; Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I sincerely hope you will get to meet later after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
"Michael, if you were on a dinner date with a nice young lady, how would you excuse yourself and let her know that you have to go to the restroom?
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher informed him that it would be rude and impolite to use such vulgar and common language. She turned to another boy.
"What about you Peter?” She asked, “How would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better.” The teacher encouraged, “But it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom to a lady or at the dinner table."
Obviously frustrated, she turned to little Johnny, who had his hand raised and a twinkle in his eye. She didn’t particularly care for him but she was at her wit’s end with the boys so she thought she’d give him a chance. “And you, little Johnny?” She asked, “Can you use your brain for once and show us all some good manners?"
“Why sure, Ma’am” was Johnny’s reply. "I would say; Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I sincerely hope you will get to meet later after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Thursday, March 22, 2007
03/22/2007 - CHANGES LOOMING...
To say that I’ve been unbelievably busy in the past few months would be an understatement. Often I’ve simply been overwhelmed! In some ways it’s a reflection of things going well in my life. But, I’ve also had some soul-stretching times that have had me re-evaluating where I am and where I want to be, particularly in my professional life.Personally, I have not felt my best. I’ve been dealing with health issues since the beginning of the year, but they aren’t the kind where you can just go to the doctor for a pill and then everything gets better. They are much more vague than that. I’ve had a record number of headaches and my stomach issues have just run rampant. I can logically link most of it to stress – usually about work, but that doesn’t bring me any closer to a solution.
After weeks of daily neck pain and migraines, I got referred to a specialist who ended up having some good and innovative ideas about healthcare, but ultimately, I never felt comfortable with him or his associates and office staff, and I’m looking forward to getting back to my doctor. That’s one less stress I have to deal with! I have begun to improve since the end of February.
I’ve been working together with my boyfriend Al quite a bit on renovating my house. I’ve spent way too much money and there is still so much work to be done, but finally we are out of the “planning” and “talking” stages and into the “doing” stage – so that in itself brings about a real sense of accomplishment! I have Al to thank for encouraging me and gently “pushing” me to actually move forward with the work. The house and yard really needed the work too! My wife and kids are not very handy with that kind of upkeep and it was depressing for me to see the condition of the house every time I went over there. I can already see a huge difference and we are only now getting started!
On the professional front, changes at work have had me jumping through hoops as I’ve been through three management changes in the past few months. Through each change I’ve come to discover more and more that I really do not enjoy what I’m doing at my company anymore. I’ve migrated so far away from where I started and from what my expertise is that I’m having to learn an entirely new vocabulary and way of thinking. That in itself is not a bad thing, but my upper management has expectations that I know everything as if I’ve done this job for years. The pressure has been unbearable at times and this is the most unhappy I have been in my 8 plus years with this company. Perhaps it is time for a change. I’m dusting off the resume, so who knows what the future has in store. I’m keeping my eyes and ears open.
With all the pressures of work and the time spent working on house projects, and my health issues, I have neglected to take care of things like working out and eating properly. So my energy level isn’t where it should be and I find myself in a cycle of being really busy and getting a lot of things done – followed by crashing at the end of the day where I don’t want to move and I really just want to veg or sleep. Which is all well and good if I was single, but I’m not. So add to my list above – the stress of feeling like I’m not meeting the needs of my partner (even when he says that I do).
Whew! That’s a long-winded way to tell you why I haven’t blogged in a while! But honestly – I wanted to just let you know that I’ve been busy – and now you know a little bit about why and what I’ve been up to!
So – now that you’re up to speed, I have to say that all in all, life is very good! My children are healthy for the most part and are just as wonderful as ever! My wife is working on improving her life and on being a happy independent woman and we still love and support each other. Al and I feel so blessed to have each other in this life and in this world. The relationships we have and the new ones we continue to form make us stronger, happier and wealthier people!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Friday, February 09, 2007
02/09/2007 - BEWARE BAD APPLES...
At times, I wonder… “do good people sometimes do bad things?” Followed by “can they do bad things and still be good people?” and Invariably the answer I come up with is “Yes”. But generally, when a good person does something wrong or “bad” – it is usually done without thinking, or without forethought and intentional malice. They have either just messed up, or have come to hold onto some form of credible validation that allows them to see the thing as “good” or, at the very least, as “excusable”.
But there’s another side to the coin. You see… I also believe, that if a person does something “bad” with forethought, planning and intentional malice – well, then they are not good people. Instead – they are “bad apples”. They may have seemed to be good people. They may have, up to the point when the “bad” thing is discovered, appeared to be persons with respect for themselves and for others, but who, upon further inspection, turn out to be selfish, egotistical and shallow. Remember the poison apple in Snow White? It was all shiny and bright red. It looked delicious and inviting. But it was only an illusion.
Such people can hide for years beneath the VENEER of “nice”, “giving”, “caring”, “decent” and “respectable” (the list goes on and on…), but eventually cracks begin to appear in their “surface” and they start to show their true nature, and their selfish and corrupt core. Similar to Sauder furniture, like you can buy at K-Mart – they are all particle-board at the core – but with a thin cherry-wood-looking plastic veneer to make them look better in the light of day.
The cracks usually begin to show in their shiny, plastic surface during times of stress. It’s already gotta be hard for them to walk around and “appear” to be decent because it goes against their true nature. If you don’t believe it – try to go around for just one week and try to convince others you are someone you aren’t. Heck – try it for a day. I think you may find the stress is unbearable. The fear of being found out, of others realizing you are a liar and a fraud. You see – I think most of the time, bad people know they are bad. They may lie to themselves to help them live with it. And they may use justifications with themselves to stomach their actions – but deep down in their core… I think they know.
You see… I’ve had some experience with these people. I knew a guy once who befriended me for over a year. He would say things to me and do things for me that convinced me he wanted to be a friend and that the both of us would benefit from it. He thanked me for inviting him to church, telling me, with tears in his eyes, how he credited me with restoring his faith in God, in the teachings of Jesus and in spirituality. He would tell me how thankful he was for inviting him to share holidays with my family, since he was so far from his own. He shared his feelings, thoughts and emotions with me, which in turn led me to open up to him about things I would feel, or think, or do. In the end – he was a total fraud and a liar. Turns out he was obsessed with me and had plans all along to “win” me over and “make” me fall in love with him. He joined my church to be near me. Went through my computer, journal and anything he could get his hands on to use as leverage to a) get to know me better and b) to try and blackmail me. He illegally logged into my Toll-Tag records to track where I was going in town. And sure there were red-flags or “cracks” in his veneer along the way. But I was trying to be a good Christian and a good friend, by forgiving him and giving him yet another chance.
But this story isn’t about him… not exactly. It’s about someone else like him. And today, it’s about a particular person who has finally shown her true colors. Not to everyone mind you, but only to a select few who she has deemed “disposable” and “expendable”. This is a story about another bad apple. We’ll call her Kristin, because that is her name… and there is no innocence to protect here.
Here’s a pre-warning before you read any further. Kristin uses MySpace. She has a profile and will read your profile if she has access. She will also use any information she finds on your profile as she see’s fit. I think most of you should be ok – but you never know. Also, what you are about to read could be graphic in nature and should not be read by those who are easily shaken or disturbed by harsh words or offended by ugly truths. I may be tempted to use the word BITCH a time or two… or more. Read only at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN CAUTIONED! Oh… and bye-the-way – any resemblance to real people is purely intentional (or is it coincidental?) – but probably will induce the guilty party to get her panties in a wad! Finally, for the full effect and in order for you to really feel the foundational soundtrack for the subject of this story, you should play Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous Girl” and over-dub it with Elton John’s “The Bitch Is Back”. Preferably in Surround Sound.
Kristin came into my life because she works with my partner, Al. I met her for the first time when I went to have lunch with Al. She seemed nice enough and was eager to befriend people, having just moved with her daughter to Dallas from Austin. Her husband was still in Austin trying to sell their house and he was also trying to find a job in the Dallas area so that he could join them. During that first lunch, I noticed she did a lot of gossiping about people from her work. This was not unusual to me but something about her vibe came off as if she thought she was above and better than everyone else with whom she worked. I later told Al that Kristin “seemed” nice, but that he should be careful to not get caught up in her gossip and that he should insist on maintaining a professional relationship at work.
A few weeks later I met Kristen’s husband when she invited Al and I to go out with them. She wanted us to show them around and asked us to suggest the best night clubs to visit. We started out in Deep Ellum but there wasn’t much going on and the music wasn’t what she wanted to dance to – so we told her that we could try TMC – a gay dance club. We ended up going there and having a good time. During the evening another friend from her work came to join us, and I discovered that her husband and I do basically the same kind of work. I told him that if he would send me a résumé, I would look it over and forward it to HR or any recruiters I knew. He was very gracious and thankful. She was somewhat disinterested.
It wasn’t long after this that Kristin invited us again to a birthday party for herself at her apartment. She had also invited other people from her work, including another gay man, who brought his boyfriend. Over the course of time, this other gay man would become her close confidant and babysitter when she wanted to go clubbing, or visit with other men… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
What’s important to remember is that Kristin initiated the so called “friendships” with Al, myself and the others. Her husband was still living in Austin and only met us through her. He was also blissfully unaware that she was already sleeping around on him, and making plans for her future without him.
About a week later, I received his résumé, which I worked on with him via email to get it into what I considered better shape. He was also pursuing certification which would make him even more marketable as he tried to find something that would allow him to join his family.
Not long after, I heard the first of many rumors that Kristin was considering leaving her husband. I was saddened because we had just begun to know them as a couple, and we liked them both.
For Halloween, Kristin had decided she wanted to hang out in the gay section of Dallas and take part in the costume revelry and parade going on down there. She asked if she could hang out with Al and I. She had already told me about the costume she and her husband would wear. But when the night came – she had her costume with her but not her husband. Instead she had a gay friend with her. I thought it odd that her husband was not with her, and when I asked her about it, she was vague and kind of rolled her eyes saying he couldn’t make it.
To move the story along… Kristin had decided that she was going to do her own thing, on her own. She said she wanted to join a rock band and asked if we knew anyone who could help her with that. She also started telling her “close friends” about the other men she was sleeping with. It seemed VERY important to her that she let everyone know she was now an independent, strong woman. She started blogging about it on her MySpace and started to write obscure poems.
As things moved forward, I told Kristin and her husband that I did not want to be in the middle of their issues. Al and I let them know we like them both and wanted to be friends with them both, but we asked them specifically not to involve us in their problems. But, in the middle is precisely where Kristin wanted us. Once her husband realized she was not amenable to counseling and making amends, he decided to start planning for his own future as a single father. This seemed to completely confound Kristin because she planned on calling all the shots. She became very angry, suspicious and childish – going even so far as to block certain people from reading her blogs on MySpace. I wanted to remain supportive so I just brushed it off as childishness.
For Christmas, Kristin had her daughter during the actual holidays. So I invited her husband to have Christmas dinner at my house with my wife and kids. He was very grateful – and almost backed out when he thought it might cause a problem at work for Al. I left it up to him, but explained that we often had friends over at Christmas and he was more than welcome. He decided to join us and we all had a great holiday.
In the end, being a friend was turned into an unfortunate lesson that really hurt only two people, Kristin’s husband and her daughter.
During a custody hearing this week, in which Kristin and her husband were both vying for full custody, Kristin cast off her veneer and showed her true self. She did this by attacking her husband and everyone else who had befriended her in Dallas, whom she felt could be used to help her lie to the judge and gain full custody of her daughter.
Her husband was grilled about his sexual identity. He was quizzed as to the nature of his relationship with myself and Al. Our MySpace blogs, which are certainly in the public domain, were used to skew the picture of a platonic friendship and healthy support, and used to suggest that “maybe” something more was going on. She used homophobia to smear the reputation of her straight but too-kind husband. She lied to the judge about her own friendships and did nothing to underline the fact that her husband ONLY knew us because of her. It is well known that she let a gay man babysit her daughter. She invited gay men and gay couples to parties where her daughter was present. She bragged of at least three other men she was sleeping with before her husband was even aware she wanted to separate. Who knows if there were others she kept to herself. One of the men she is still seeing. So there’s another person who is in line to be hurt by all of this. But when it comes to sex, love or infatuation – no one can open your eyes for you!
So now I’m thinking… this story is already too long. It’s filled with fact, rumor, innuendo and second-hand information. Are there details missing? Most certainly! Enough to turn this blog into a novel! Is the story told objectively? I’ve been as objective as I know how, especially considering that I am one of the persons who was used by Kristin for her own agenda. Is the story over? Don’t you wish it was? I know I do – but there are still others in Kristin’s life who are unaware of what she has done and what she is capable of doing when she decides to be finished with them. Also remember, there is a child involved. These two parents will need to continue to raise that child and hopefully do it with dignity, respect and sacrifice. I have no doubt the father can live up to the task – he’s already proven that. But the mother, Kristin, still needs to learn that her daughter, and the example she sets for her, are more important than Mommy getting into a rock band, or wearing a Wonder Woman costume to a gay Halloween party, or even getting her snatch itched (or is it her itch scratched?) once in a while. I have no real problem with someone being a slut or even a whore, as long as they can be honest with themselves and others. I have a huge problem with someone being a liar and a user!
So now you see… the answer is “Yes” boys and girls… good people can do bad things. And bad people can do good things. But really shitty people do bad things to good people just to fill their own selfish needs.
Oh and lest I forget to give in to my own childish temptation… Kristin is a BITCH!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
But there’s another side to the coin. You see… I also believe, that if a person does something “bad” with forethought, planning and intentional malice – well, then they are not good people. Instead – they are “bad apples”. They may have seemed to be good people. They may have, up to the point when the “bad” thing is discovered, appeared to be persons with respect for themselves and for others, but who, upon further inspection, turn out to be selfish, egotistical and shallow. Remember the poison apple in Snow White? It was all shiny and bright red. It looked delicious and inviting. But it was only an illusion.
Such people can hide for years beneath the VENEER of “nice”, “giving”, “caring”, “decent” and “respectable” (the list goes on and on…), but eventually cracks begin to appear in their “surface” and they start to show their true nature, and their selfish and corrupt core. Similar to Sauder furniture, like you can buy at K-Mart – they are all particle-board at the core – but with a thin cherry-wood-looking plastic veneer to make them look better in the light of day.
The cracks usually begin to show in their shiny, plastic surface during times of stress. It’s already gotta be hard for them to walk around and “appear” to be decent because it goes against their true nature. If you don’t believe it – try to go around for just one week and try to convince others you are someone you aren’t. Heck – try it for a day. I think you may find the stress is unbearable. The fear of being found out, of others realizing you are a liar and a fraud. You see – I think most of the time, bad people know they are bad. They may lie to themselves to help them live with it. And they may use justifications with themselves to stomach their actions – but deep down in their core… I think they know.
You see… I’ve had some experience with these people. I knew a guy once who befriended me for over a year. He would say things to me and do things for me that convinced me he wanted to be a friend and that the both of us would benefit from it. He thanked me for inviting him to church, telling me, with tears in his eyes, how he credited me with restoring his faith in God, in the teachings of Jesus and in spirituality. He would tell me how thankful he was for inviting him to share holidays with my family, since he was so far from his own. He shared his feelings, thoughts and emotions with me, which in turn led me to open up to him about things I would feel, or think, or do. In the end – he was a total fraud and a liar. Turns out he was obsessed with me and had plans all along to “win” me over and “make” me fall in love with him. He joined my church to be near me. Went through my computer, journal and anything he could get his hands on to use as leverage to a) get to know me better and b) to try and blackmail me. He illegally logged into my Toll-Tag records to track where I was going in town. And sure there were red-flags or “cracks” in his veneer along the way. But I was trying to be a good Christian and a good friend, by forgiving him and giving him yet another chance.
But this story isn’t about him… not exactly. It’s about someone else like him. And today, it’s about a particular person who has finally shown her true colors. Not to everyone mind you, but only to a select few who she has deemed “disposable” and “expendable”. This is a story about another bad apple. We’ll call her Kristin, because that is her name… and there is no innocence to protect here.
Here’s a pre-warning before you read any further. Kristin uses MySpace. She has a profile and will read your profile if she has access. She will also use any information she finds on your profile as she see’s fit. I think most of you should be ok – but you never know. Also, what you are about to read could be graphic in nature and should not be read by those who are easily shaken or disturbed by harsh words or offended by ugly truths. I may be tempted to use the word BITCH a time or two… or more. Read only at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN CAUTIONED! Oh… and bye-the-way – any resemblance to real people is purely intentional (or is it coincidental?) – but probably will induce the guilty party to get her panties in a wad! Finally, for the full effect and in order for you to really feel the foundational soundtrack for the subject of this story, you should play Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous Girl” and over-dub it with Elton John’s “The Bitch Is Back”. Preferably in Surround Sound.
Kristin came into my life because she works with my partner, Al. I met her for the first time when I went to have lunch with Al. She seemed nice enough and was eager to befriend people, having just moved with her daughter to Dallas from Austin. Her husband was still in Austin trying to sell their house and he was also trying to find a job in the Dallas area so that he could join them. During that first lunch, I noticed she did a lot of gossiping about people from her work. This was not unusual to me but something about her vibe came off as if she thought she was above and better than everyone else with whom she worked. I later told Al that Kristin “seemed” nice, but that he should be careful to not get caught up in her gossip and that he should insist on maintaining a professional relationship at work.
A few weeks later I met Kristen’s husband when she invited Al and I to go out with them. She wanted us to show them around and asked us to suggest the best night clubs to visit. We started out in Deep Ellum but there wasn’t much going on and the music wasn’t what she wanted to dance to – so we told her that we could try TMC – a gay dance club. We ended up going there and having a good time. During the evening another friend from her work came to join us, and I discovered that her husband and I do basically the same kind of work. I told him that if he would send me a résumé, I would look it over and forward it to HR or any recruiters I knew. He was very gracious and thankful. She was somewhat disinterested.
It wasn’t long after this that Kristin invited us again to a birthday party for herself at her apartment. She had also invited other people from her work, including another gay man, who brought his boyfriend. Over the course of time, this other gay man would become her close confidant and babysitter when she wanted to go clubbing, or visit with other men… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
What’s important to remember is that Kristin initiated the so called “friendships” with Al, myself and the others. Her husband was still living in Austin and only met us through her. He was also blissfully unaware that she was already sleeping around on him, and making plans for her future without him.
About a week later, I received his résumé, which I worked on with him via email to get it into what I considered better shape. He was also pursuing certification which would make him even more marketable as he tried to find something that would allow him to join his family.
Not long after, I heard the first of many rumors that Kristin was considering leaving her husband. I was saddened because we had just begun to know them as a couple, and we liked them both.
For Halloween, Kristin had decided she wanted to hang out in the gay section of Dallas and take part in the costume revelry and parade going on down there. She asked if she could hang out with Al and I. She had already told me about the costume she and her husband would wear. But when the night came – she had her costume with her but not her husband. Instead she had a gay friend with her. I thought it odd that her husband was not with her, and when I asked her about it, she was vague and kind of rolled her eyes saying he couldn’t make it.
To move the story along… Kristin had decided that she was going to do her own thing, on her own. She said she wanted to join a rock band and asked if we knew anyone who could help her with that. She also started telling her “close friends” about the other men she was sleeping with. It seemed VERY important to her that she let everyone know she was now an independent, strong woman. She started blogging about it on her MySpace and started to write obscure poems.
As things moved forward, I told Kristin and her husband that I did not want to be in the middle of their issues. Al and I let them know we like them both and wanted to be friends with them both, but we asked them specifically not to involve us in their problems. But, in the middle is precisely where Kristin wanted us. Once her husband realized she was not amenable to counseling and making amends, he decided to start planning for his own future as a single father. This seemed to completely confound Kristin because she planned on calling all the shots. She became very angry, suspicious and childish – going even so far as to block certain people from reading her blogs on MySpace. I wanted to remain supportive so I just brushed it off as childishness.
For Christmas, Kristin had her daughter during the actual holidays. So I invited her husband to have Christmas dinner at my house with my wife and kids. He was very grateful – and almost backed out when he thought it might cause a problem at work for Al. I left it up to him, but explained that we often had friends over at Christmas and he was more than welcome. He decided to join us and we all had a great holiday.
In the end, being a friend was turned into an unfortunate lesson that really hurt only two people, Kristin’s husband and her daughter.
During a custody hearing this week, in which Kristin and her husband were both vying for full custody, Kristin cast off her veneer and showed her true self. She did this by attacking her husband and everyone else who had befriended her in Dallas, whom she felt could be used to help her lie to the judge and gain full custody of her daughter.
Her husband was grilled about his sexual identity. He was quizzed as to the nature of his relationship with myself and Al. Our MySpace blogs, which are certainly in the public domain, were used to skew the picture of a platonic friendship and healthy support, and used to suggest that “maybe” something more was going on. She used homophobia to smear the reputation of her straight but too-kind husband. She lied to the judge about her own friendships and did nothing to underline the fact that her husband ONLY knew us because of her. It is well known that she let a gay man babysit her daughter. She invited gay men and gay couples to parties where her daughter was present. She bragged of at least three other men she was sleeping with before her husband was even aware she wanted to separate. Who knows if there were others she kept to herself. One of the men she is still seeing. So there’s another person who is in line to be hurt by all of this. But when it comes to sex, love or infatuation – no one can open your eyes for you!
So now I’m thinking… this story is already too long. It’s filled with fact, rumor, innuendo and second-hand information. Are there details missing? Most certainly! Enough to turn this blog into a novel! Is the story told objectively? I’ve been as objective as I know how, especially considering that I am one of the persons who was used by Kristin for her own agenda. Is the story over? Don’t you wish it was? I know I do – but there are still others in Kristin’s life who are unaware of what she has done and what she is capable of doing when she decides to be finished with them. Also remember, there is a child involved. These two parents will need to continue to raise that child and hopefully do it with dignity, respect and sacrifice. I have no doubt the father can live up to the task – he’s already proven that. But the mother, Kristin, still needs to learn that her daughter, and the example she sets for her, are more important than Mommy getting into a rock band, or wearing a Wonder Woman costume to a gay Halloween party, or even getting her snatch itched (or is it her itch scratched?) once in a while. I have no real problem with someone being a slut or even a whore, as long as they can be honest with themselves and others. I have a huge problem with someone being a liar and a user!
So now you see… the answer is “Yes” boys and girls… good people can do bad things. And bad people can do good things. But really shitty people do bad things to good people just to fill their own selfish needs.
Oh and lest I forget to give in to my own childish temptation… Kristin is a BITCH!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Thursday, January 18, 2007
01/18/2007 - PONDER THIS...
This was sent to me by my Dad. Thought I'd share it here.
Number 10: Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6: Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but they can still put a smile on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Number 5: Health nuts are going to feel really stupid someday when they are lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3: Why does a slight tax increase cost us two-hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves only thirty cents?
Number 2: In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and those same people take Prozac to make it normal
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We can pinpoint the exact location of one cow with Mad-cow-disease among the millions and millions of cows in America. But, we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located? Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Number 10: Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6: Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but they can still put a smile on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Number 5: Health nuts are going to feel really stupid someday when they are lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3: Why does a slight tax increase cost us two-hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves only thirty cents?
Number 2: In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and those same people take Prozac to make it normal
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We can pinpoint the exact location of one cow with Mad-cow-disease among the millions and millions of cows in America. But, we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located? Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Friday, January 05, 2007
01/05/2007 - GROWING OLDER OR WIZER...
What does “growing up” really mean? I'm guessing it means different things to different people. Just like all things. But I can remember when I was little, growing up meant getting older. There wasn’t a lot to thought put into it then. It was just all about getting older and being able to do things that the older people did.
But now that I'm one of the “older people”, growing up means something more, something different. It has more to do with maturity now than age. I mean, face it – we all age. We all get older. But look around you. How many adults do you know that you can really call “grown up”?
I tease sometimes saying I still don’t know what I want to be when I “grow up” – indicating that I have never really settled on doing just one thing in my life. I’m ok with that. I like change. I also tease saying I hope I never “grow up”, meaning that I enjoy being mischievous and living life with a certain child-like playfulness. I'm ok with that too. What concerns me about the world around me, is that some people (lots actually) seem to have missed the necessary “growth” required to mature emotionally.
Too often I'm confronted with “grown” adults who say things that just blow me away, or who act in ways that remind me of high school – or worse – JUNIOR HIGH! Usually it is about their relationships with other people, but can be about their jobs, their pets, or just anything in general.
Now I'm just a laid-back kind of guy who has piles-a-plenty of my own personal shit to deal with. So getting caught up in someone else’s drama is not my thing. And I'm usually pretty quick to let them know too. I have sort of a zero-tolerance policy on drama, pettiness and squirrelly grade-school antics. To them I just want to say “GROW THE FCUK UP!” and I don’t mean for them to magically get older.
From a distance, I’ve watched these people, some of them dear friends of mine, and some of them worthless shits like the asshole that was stalking me for a couple of years (see… zero-tolerance!). And as I watch them I try to understand what makes them behave so. What makes an “adult” fall apart when the person they are smitten with, doesn’t return the sentiment? What makes an “adult” come to the conclusion that they cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t believe, think, vote or feel the way they do? What makes an “adult” try to convince their friends to pick them over other friends with whom they have had a falling-out? How does an “adult” become obsessed with another person to the point that they will do anything, include harm the other person – all in the name of some screwed-up idea they call “love”? I don’t think you can just label them crazy or psychotic and issue them medication and weekly therapy. There are too many highly-functioning, professional, seemingly normal-in-all-other-ways people out there who are behaving this way. So what can it be?
Now, I'm only guessing here, based on my observations and many discussions with some of these individuals, and I believe that much of it is rooted in lack of self-respect, lack of self-esteem, and lack of responsibility for one’s own actions and one’s own feelings. When I’ve confronted friends about how they are acting, they usually start out with blaming the other person for their feelings. Now we all should know by now – our feelings are our responsibility, as are our actions. Of course there are other factors involved, such as past history, depression and such. But I'm still at a loss for how to deal with this behavior in my own friends. If people I don’t know act this way – well that’s for their friends to handle. But when it is people I know, or even people I care about, it really gets me turned-around, and a bit angry at them for behaving so NOT “grown up”.
Well – I don’t have some magical solution for this dilemma. I can’t even say I haven’t behaved in a similar manner (in JUNIOR HIGH!). But I must say, I think the best thing I can continue to do is to be honest with these people, and to support them without supporting the behavior. I hope in time that people are able to see in themselves those behaviors that are holding them back from truly fulfilling lives. And that they find the courage and resources to make positive changes in themselves. Call it a silly, childish dream if you want to… but I will believe in it until I decide to grow up.
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
But now that I'm one of the “older people”, growing up means something more, something different. It has more to do with maturity now than age. I mean, face it – we all age. We all get older. But look around you. How many adults do you know that you can really call “grown up”?
I tease sometimes saying I still don’t know what I want to be when I “grow up” – indicating that I have never really settled on doing just one thing in my life. I’m ok with that. I like change. I also tease saying I hope I never “grow up”, meaning that I enjoy being mischievous and living life with a certain child-like playfulness. I'm ok with that too. What concerns me about the world around me, is that some people (lots actually) seem to have missed the necessary “growth” required to mature emotionally.
Too often I'm confronted with “grown” adults who say things that just blow me away, or who act in ways that remind me of high school – or worse – JUNIOR HIGH! Usually it is about their relationships with other people, but can be about their jobs, their pets, or just anything in general.
Now I'm just a laid-back kind of guy who has piles-a-plenty of my own personal shit to deal with. So getting caught up in someone else’s drama is not my thing. And I'm usually pretty quick to let them know too. I have sort of a zero-tolerance policy on drama, pettiness and squirrelly grade-school antics. To them I just want to say “GROW THE FCUK UP!” and I don’t mean for them to magically get older.
From a distance, I’ve watched these people, some of them dear friends of mine, and some of them worthless shits like the asshole that was stalking me for a couple of years (see… zero-tolerance!). And as I watch them I try to understand what makes them behave so. What makes an “adult” fall apart when the person they are smitten with, doesn’t return the sentiment? What makes an “adult” come to the conclusion that they cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t believe, think, vote or feel the way they do? What makes an “adult” try to convince their friends to pick them over other friends with whom they have had a falling-out? How does an “adult” become obsessed with another person to the point that they will do anything, include harm the other person – all in the name of some screwed-up idea they call “love”? I don’t think you can just label them crazy or psychotic and issue them medication and weekly therapy. There are too many highly-functioning, professional, seemingly normal-in-all-other-ways people out there who are behaving this way. So what can it be?
Now, I'm only guessing here, based on my observations and many discussions with some of these individuals, and I believe that much of it is rooted in lack of self-respect, lack of self-esteem, and lack of responsibility for one’s own actions and one’s own feelings. When I’ve confronted friends about how they are acting, they usually start out with blaming the other person for their feelings. Now we all should know by now – our feelings are our responsibility, as are our actions. Of course there are other factors involved, such as past history, depression and such. But I'm still at a loss for how to deal with this behavior in my own friends. If people I don’t know act this way – well that’s for their friends to handle. But when it is people I know, or even people I care about, it really gets me turned-around, and a bit angry at them for behaving so NOT “grown up”.
Well – I don’t have some magical solution for this dilemma. I can’t even say I haven’t behaved in a similar manner (in JUNIOR HIGH!). But I must say, I think the best thing I can continue to do is to be honest with these people, and to support them without supporting the behavior. I hope in time that people are able to see in themselves those behaviors that are holding them back from truly fulfilling lives. And that they find the courage and resources to make positive changes in themselves. Call it a silly, childish dream if you want to… but I will believe in it until I decide to grow up.
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
01/02/2007 - STARTING FRESH...
Here we are again! Another new year, full of promise, potential and possibilities! We should all be brimming with energy and excitement just thinking about it. But sometimes that is not the case. Sometimes, we are coming down off of the high of the recent holiday excitement. Or we may be simply exhausted from it all. Sometimes we may be dreading another year of unfulfilling jobs, insurmountable bills and loving relationships that seem out of our grasp.
In some ways, I'm very lucky. Not that my job is all that sweet. It does pay well but I find it harder and harder to go to work every day. I will have to really consider what to do about that this year. I plan to get a better handle on my finances this year too. I made some pretty good progress in 2006, but there’s still some work to do, and some additional self-discipline to apply.
In the area of relationships, I'm very lucky indeed. Now, I know that luck isn’t all of it, because real relationships take work, and effort on everyone’s behalf. But I’m starting off 2007 with great friends, a wonderful family, and a partner who is as much in tune with me as anyone I’ve ever met.
This New Year’s Eve, I went to dinner with my wife and my boyfriend (how many people can say that?!) and we talked about our plans and expectations for the coming year. The kids made their own NYE plans for the first time in their lives, so the adults were pretty much on their own. It was kinda cool! New Year’s Day, we all got back together with the kids, cooked up some home-made Chinese pork dumplings and sat around watching movies.
The week after Christmas, I mailed a letter to my Dad, effectively “coming out” to him and letting him know where my life is today and giving him some high-level insight into my relationship status with my wife and with Al. I wanted to do it after Christmas so that he would not have that on his heart during that time, but I also wanted him to know before the new year began. He called me on December 30 but I didn’t take the call. I wasn’t ready to have a discussion just yet. He left me an encouraging voice-mail, letting me know he loved me and that I would always be his son. I have to admit – I did not expect that response. I didn’t know what to expect, and I felt it was safer to have no expectations at all.
On NYE, I called him back and we chatted briefly. His main concern was that I was not depressed during the holidays. I explained how I have had about 4 years to deal with it now, and that I was doing well, and he shouldn’t worry. He also did not want me to worry. He only mentioned twice how he does not approve of “that kind of lifestyle” but that he loved me. Then there was the awkward joke when he asked if this was a “Brokeback Mountain” kind of thing and all I could do was laugh and explain to him that no, we did not own any sheep! LOL
In retrospect, I'm not sure how the wine industry will measure their vintages from the past 12 months, but for me, 2006 was a good year. I traveled a bit, met and made some really great friends, and created some wonderful memories. So if I may correct myself… 2006 was a GREAT year!
Looking forward to 2007 is a bit daunting, as it always is for me trying to “see” into the future. But I will deal with the issues of my job, and will continue to prioritize finances, family and fun as we move forward into the year. I will continue to cherish the friends and loved ones who stand by me, reach out to me and support me in this journey called “life”. I will continue to be open to learning new things, seeing new perspectives, making new friends and experiencing life to the fullest. I really can’t say what 2007 has in store for me, but I know this… I’m ready for the adventure!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
In some ways, I'm very lucky. Not that my job is all that sweet. It does pay well but I find it harder and harder to go to work every day. I will have to really consider what to do about that this year. I plan to get a better handle on my finances this year too. I made some pretty good progress in 2006, but there’s still some work to do, and some additional self-discipline to apply.
In the area of relationships, I'm very lucky indeed. Now, I know that luck isn’t all of it, because real relationships take work, and effort on everyone’s behalf. But I’m starting off 2007 with great friends, a wonderful family, and a partner who is as much in tune with me as anyone I’ve ever met.
This New Year’s Eve, I went to dinner with my wife and my boyfriend (how many people can say that?!) and we talked about our plans and expectations for the coming year. The kids made their own NYE plans for the first time in their lives, so the adults were pretty much on their own. It was kinda cool! New Year’s Day, we all got back together with the kids, cooked up some home-made Chinese pork dumplings and sat around watching movies.
The week after Christmas, I mailed a letter to my Dad, effectively “coming out” to him and letting him know where my life is today and giving him some high-level insight into my relationship status with my wife and with Al. I wanted to do it after Christmas so that he would not have that on his heart during that time, but I also wanted him to know before the new year began. He called me on December 30 but I didn’t take the call. I wasn’t ready to have a discussion just yet. He left me an encouraging voice-mail, letting me know he loved me and that I would always be his son. I have to admit – I did not expect that response. I didn’t know what to expect, and I felt it was safer to have no expectations at all.
On NYE, I called him back and we chatted briefly. His main concern was that I was not depressed during the holidays. I explained how I have had about 4 years to deal with it now, and that I was doing well, and he shouldn’t worry. He also did not want me to worry. He only mentioned twice how he does not approve of “that kind of lifestyle” but that he loved me. Then there was the awkward joke when he asked if this was a “Brokeback Mountain” kind of thing and all I could do was laugh and explain to him that no, we did not own any sheep! LOL
In retrospect, I'm not sure how the wine industry will measure their vintages from the past 12 months, but for me, 2006 was a good year. I traveled a bit, met and made some really great friends, and created some wonderful memories. So if I may correct myself… 2006 was a GREAT year!
Looking forward to 2007 is a bit daunting, as it always is for me trying to “see” into the future. But I will deal with the issues of my job, and will continue to prioritize finances, family and fun as we move forward into the year. I will continue to cherish the friends and loved ones who stand by me, reach out to me and support me in this journey called “life”. I will continue to be open to learning new things, seeing new perspectives, making new friends and experiencing life to the fullest. I really can’t say what 2007 has in store for me, but I know this… I’m ready for the adventure!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
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