Friday! Woo Hoo!!! It's been a relatively quiet day although it has also been productive. It's almost 2pm now and I haven't taken a break or a lunch. I've been finalizing process diagrams, answering meeting requests, sending out template requests, filing reimbursement claims, and retyping my cell phone address book because I have to switch to a new phone and guess what? That's correct! No SIM card! I still have so much to do so I will make this brief today.
Have you ever heard the phrase "Actions Speak Louder Than Words"? I'm sure you have - and you may have taken that for granted as well. I think for the most part I have taken it for granted - like a basic truth or something. But recently I've begun to wonder if it is ALWAYS the case. If the actions are there - but no words to accompany them - is that enough? I would suggest that the answer could be "sometimes" or "it depends".
But - on what does it depend?
Well for me, I guess it could depend on my emotional state of being. Let's take for example the word "I love you". Have you ever been with someone who you KNOW loves you because they are always so loving toward you - but they never SAY it? Has that been a problem for you? I was in college the first time I heard one of my parents say "I love you". I was floored. Those words had such power because I had never heard them before from my parents. I do know that I find it very important to tell my kids, my wife and my friends that I love them - even if I feel they should know it already from my actions. For me, those words need to be heard, and need to be said - regardless of how loving the actions are.
In contrast - if someone uses the words all the time - but their actions indicate something else, then the power of those words can be diluted or even altered so that the hearer no longer equates them with something "good" or positive.
Recently I experienced a situation with a loved one who was having a hard time dealing with some emotional issues. I reached out to this person with words of love, and encouragement, but I didn't have a lot of time to be with them and "do" things for them. This person ended up feeling neglected because they wanted to be "shown" love and support. One week later - the same person was again dealing with some emotional burdens - and in this case I had the time to be present, and in a physical sense - by hugging and holding, show them that I love and support them. I just listened and really couldn't think of anything "insightful" to share - so I just silently held, hugged and provided a shoulder to cry on. After some time went by my friend made it clear that they really wanted to hear words of encouragement - and that the "showing" of love just wasn't enough. I was a bit blown away and even a bit miffed - feeling like I was doing what I could - and what I thought was the right thing - and yet it seemed I couldn't get it "right"! Had I provided both words and actions - perhaps that would have turned out better. In any case - it gave me something to think about.
When dealing with people we love - we really need to try and assess their emotional "temperature" and in time, learn to read that and respond in ways that are beneficial to that person - while still staying true to our own nature. This reminds me of a book I read some years ago called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book helps us learn to meet our friend/partner/lover on their terms when it comes to loving. In other words - we learn to love them the way they need to be loved - not the way we THINK they want to be loved. It is very insightful and eye-opening!
Well - enough for now. I hope that we can all learn to reach out to each other in love - sharing our world, our lives and our passions with each other in a positive and uplifting way!
WOOF ya later!
- bbw
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