AIDS and HIV... so much more than mere letters, because when we string them together just so, we attach to them things like fear, shame, scorn, stigma, judgment, apathy and hate. Yes, I'm still astounded that we can so easily turn away from, or that we can hate someone just because they utter the letters H I V...My view of reality is that we are all living with AIDS and HIV. Some of us may choose to deny or ignore it, but that does not remove it from the world, our world. It surrounds us - whether in our own blood, or in the blood of our loved ones, our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers or strangers that pass us by every day. AIDS and HIV is strung through the fabric of our world making that fabric weak in some areas, and stronger in others.
I've never had to sit and cry with a friend as he or she first received the news from their doctor, though they know I would. I've never had to sit with a friend and watch them breathe their last breath, because I've been fortunate enough to have seen them improve and return home. But I have seen the scared and then surprised look on far too many faces, who, after working up the nerve to tell me they were HIV positive, couldn't believe that I loved them even more for telling me, and then embraced them tightly to assure them I was not afraid, and hope maybe they could be a little less afraid too.
My tears have thus far been limited to sorrow for those who have been lost far too soon, and whom I never got to know fully, and my tears of anger for those who use hate and ignorance to fuel their lives, their vocations, and their words when they speak about AIDS and HIV.
I read an article a couple years ago about a preacher’s wife who supported AIDS efforts in Africa. Although her husband and the church did not fully support her, but only humored her in this endeavor, the article painted her a hero. I was all good with this until I read a quote from the woman. She said she struggled with her calling until reaching a point she terms “a surrender to God” as she realized that AIDS “wasn't just a gay disease.” This quote stunned me as I realized the only reason she answered the plight of those people dying from AIDS in Africa, was that she realized they were not gay! So, had she not realized that AIDS wasn’t just a gay disease – those poor African’s, and God for that matter, would just have had to make do without her help! A hero? Not quite. That woman is Kay Warren, wife of Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Valley Community Church in Southern California, one of the most influential evangelical churches in the United States. Yes, I have cried tears of sorrow and anger. And yes, sometimes I still do.
But for me today, AIDS and HIV is not about tears, fear, shame, scorn, hate or any of those negatives we can so quickly attach. Today I think we can look to progress, and acceptance, healing and love. There will still be hard times. There will ALWAYS be hard times. But we don’t get through those times by embracing the negativity of things. We must embrace the positives in this life. We must accept what we have before us and truly make the best of life with it. And we must help to make sure that no one is left to do that alone.
I have a partner. I am loved. He and I are thankful for each day, each moment we have together and we have made it a part of our life’s mission as it is our passion, to reach out to others and let them know they are not alone and that each day can get better. Remember, in this world, in this life, in this time, we ALL have AIDS, we ALL have HIV! Let’s deal with it… together.
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
