At times, I wonder… “do good people sometimes do bad things?” Followed by “can they do bad things and still be good people?” and Invariably the answer I come up with is “Yes”. But generally, when a good person does something wrong or “bad” – it is usually done without thinking, or without forethought and intentional malice. They have either just messed up, or have come to hold onto some form of credible validation that allows them to see the thing as “good” or, at the very least, as “excusable”.
But there’s another side to the coin. You see… I also believe, that if a person does something “bad” with forethought, planning and intentional malice – well, then they are not good people. Instead – they are “bad apples”. They may have seemed to be good people. They may have, up to the point when the “bad” thing is discovered, appeared to be persons with respect for themselves and for others, but who, upon further inspection, turn out to be selfish, egotistical and shallow. Remember the poison apple in Snow White? It was all shiny and bright red. It looked delicious and inviting. But it was only an illusion.
Such people can hide for years beneath the VENEER of “nice”, “giving”, “caring”, “decent” and “respectable” (the list goes on and on…), but eventually cracks begin to appear in their “surface” and they start to show their true nature, and their selfish and corrupt core. Similar to Sauder furniture, like you can buy at K-Mart – they are all particle-board at the core – but with a thin cherry-wood-looking plastic veneer to make them look better in the light of day.
The cracks usually begin to show in their shiny, plastic surface during times of stress. It’s already gotta be hard for them to walk around and “appear” to be decent because it goes against their true nature. If you don’t believe it – try to go around for just one week and try to convince others you are someone you aren’t. Heck – try it for a day. I think you may find the stress is unbearable. The fear of being found out, of others realizing you are a liar and a fraud. You see – I think most of the time, bad people know they are bad. They may lie to themselves to help them live with it. And they may use justifications with themselves to stomach their actions – but deep down in their core… I think they know.
You see… I’ve had some experience with these people. I knew a guy once who befriended me for over a year. He would say things to me and do things for me that convinced me he wanted to be a friend and that the both of us would benefit from it. He thanked me for inviting him to church, telling me, with tears in his eyes, how he credited me with restoring his faith in God, in the teachings of Jesus and in spirituality. He would tell me how thankful he was for inviting him to share holidays with my family, since he was so far from his own. He shared his feelings, thoughts and emotions with me, which in turn led me to open up to him about things I would feel, or think, or do. In the end – he was a total fraud and a liar. Turns out he was obsessed with me and had plans all along to “win” me over and “make” me fall in love with him. He joined my church to be near me. Went through my computer, journal and anything he could get his hands on to use as leverage to a) get to know me better and b) to try and blackmail me. He illegally logged into my Toll-Tag records to track where I was going in town. And sure there were red-flags or “cracks” in his veneer along the way. But I was trying to be a good Christian and a good friend, by forgiving him and giving him yet another chance.
But this story isn’t about him… not exactly. It’s about someone else like him. And today, it’s about a particular person who has finally shown her true colors. Not to everyone mind you, but only to a select few who she has deemed “disposable” and “expendable”. This is a story about another bad apple. We’ll call her Kristin, because that is her name… and there is no innocence to protect here.
Here’s a pre-warning before you read any further. Kristin uses MySpace. She has a profile and will read your profile if she has access. She will also use any information she finds on your profile as she see’s fit. I think most of you should be ok – but you never know. Also, what you are about to read could be graphic in nature and should not be read by those who are easily shaken or disturbed by harsh words or offended by ugly truths. I may be tempted to use the word BITCH a time or two… or more. Read only at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN CAUTIONED! Oh… and bye-the-way – any resemblance to real people is purely intentional (or is it coincidental?) – but probably will induce the guilty party to get her panties in a wad! Finally, for the full effect and in order for you to really feel the foundational soundtrack for the subject of this story, you should play Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous Girl” and over-dub it with Elton John’s “The Bitch Is Back”. Preferably in Surround Sound.
Kristin came into my life because she works with my partner, Al. I met her for the first time when I went to have lunch with Al. She seemed nice enough and was eager to befriend people, having just moved with her daughter to Dallas from Austin. Her husband was still in Austin trying to sell their house and he was also trying to find a job in the Dallas area so that he could join them. During that first lunch, I noticed she did a lot of gossiping about people from her work. This was not unusual to me but something about her vibe came off as if she thought she was above and better than everyone else with whom she worked. I later told Al that Kristin “seemed” nice, but that he should be careful to not get caught up in her gossip and that he should insist on maintaining a professional relationship at work.
A few weeks later I met Kristen’s husband when she invited Al and I to go out with them. She wanted us to show them around and asked us to suggest the best night clubs to visit. We started out in Deep Ellum but there wasn’t much going on and the music wasn’t what she wanted to dance to – so we told her that we could try TMC – a gay dance club. We ended up going there and having a good time. During the evening another friend from her work came to join us, and I discovered that her husband and I do basically the same kind of work. I told him that if he would send me a résumé, I would look it over and forward it to HR or any recruiters I knew. He was very gracious and thankful. She was somewhat disinterested.
It wasn’t long after this that Kristin invited us again to a birthday party for herself at her apartment. She had also invited other people from her work, including another gay man, who brought his boyfriend. Over the course of time, this other gay man would become her close confidant and babysitter when she wanted to go clubbing, or visit with other men… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
What’s important to remember is that Kristin initiated the so called “friendships” with Al, myself and the others. Her husband was still living in Austin and only met us through her. He was also blissfully unaware that she was already sleeping around on him, and making plans for her future without him.
About a week later, I received his résumé, which I worked on with him via email to get it into what I considered better shape. He was also pursuing certification which would make him even more marketable as he tried to find something that would allow him to join his family.
Not long after, I heard the first of many rumors that Kristin was considering leaving her husband. I was saddened because we had just begun to know them as a couple, and we liked them both.
For Halloween, Kristin had decided she wanted to hang out in the gay section of Dallas and take part in the costume revelry and parade going on down there. She asked if she could hang out with Al and I. She had already told me about the costume she and her husband would wear. But when the night came – she had her costume with her but not her husband. Instead she had a gay friend with her. I thought it odd that her husband was not with her, and when I asked her about it, she was vague and kind of rolled her eyes saying he couldn’t make it.
To move the story along… Kristin had decided that she was going to do her own thing, on her own. She said she wanted to join a rock band and asked if we knew anyone who could help her with that. She also started telling her “close friends” about the other men she was sleeping with. It seemed VERY important to her that she let everyone know she was now an independent, strong woman. She started blogging about it on her MySpace and started to write obscure poems.
As things moved forward, I told Kristin and her husband that I did not want to be in the middle of their issues. Al and I let them know we like them both and wanted to be friends with them both, but we asked them specifically not to involve us in their problems. But, in the middle is precisely where Kristin wanted us. Once her husband realized she was not amenable to counseling and making amends, he decided to start planning for his own future as a single father. This seemed to completely confound Kristin because she planned on calling all the shots. She became very angry, suspicious and childish – going even so far as to block certain people from reading her blogs on MySpace. I wanted to remain supportive so I just brushed it off as childishness.
For Christmas, Kristin had her daughter during the actual holidays. So I invited her husband to have Christmas dinner at my house with my wife and kids. He was very grateful – and almost backed out when he thought it might cause a problem at work for Al. I left it up to him, but explained that we often had friends over at Christmas and he was more than welcome. He decided to join us and we all had a great holiday.
In the end, being a friend was turned into an unfortunate lesson that really hurt only two people, Kristin’s husband and her daughter.
During a custody hearing this week, in which Kristin and her husband were both vying for full custody, Kristin cast off her veneer and showed her true self. She did this by attacking her husband and everyone else who had befriended her in Dallas, whom she felt could be used to help her lie to the judge and gain full custody of her daughter.
Her husband was grilled about his sexual identity. He was quizzed as to the nature of his relationship with myself and Al. Our MySpace blogs, which are certainly in the public domain, were used to skew the picture of a platonic friendship and healthy support, and used to suggest that “maybe” something more was going on. She used homophobia to smear the reputation of her straight but too-kind husband. She lied to the judge about her own friendships and did nothing to underline the fact that her husband ONLY knew us because of her. It is well known that she let a gay man babysit her daughter. She invited gay men and gay couples to parties where her daughter was present. She bragged of at least three other men she was sleeping with before her husband was even aware she wanted to separate. Who knows if there were others she kept to herself. One of the men she is still seeing. So there’s another person who is in line to be hurt by all of this. But when it comes to sex, love or infatuation – no one can open your eyes for you!
So now I’m thinking… this story is already too long. It’s filled with fact, rumor, innuendo and second-hand information. Are there details missing? Most certainly! Enough to turn this blog into a novel! Is the story told objectively? I’ve been as objective as I know how, especially considering that I am one of the persons who was used by Kristin for her own agenda. Is the story over? Don’t you wish it was? I know I do – but there are still others in Kristin’s life who are unaware of what she has done and what she is capable of doing when she decides to be finished with them. Also remember, there is a child involved. These two parents will need to continue to raise that child and hopefully do it with dignity, respect and sacrifice. I have no doubt the father can live up to the task – he’s already proven that. But the mother, Kristin, still needs to learn that her daughter, and the example she sets for her, are more important than Mommy getting into a rock band, or wearing a Wonder Woman costume to a gay Halloween party, or even getting her snatch itched (or is it her itch scratched?) once in a while. I have no real problem with someone being a slut or even a whore, as long as they can be honest with themselves and others. I have a huge problem with someone being a liar and a user!
So now you see… the answer is “Yes” boys and girls… good people can do bad things. And bad people can do good things. But really shitty people do bad things to good people just to fill their own selfish needs.
Oh and lest I forget to give in to my own childish temptation… Kristin is a BITCH!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
But there’s another side to the coin. You see… I also believe, that if a person does something “bad” with forethought, planning and intentional malice – well, then they are not good people. Instead – they are “bad apples”. They may have seemed to be good people. They may have, up to the point when the “bad” thing is discovered, appeared to be persons with respect for themselves and for others, but who, upon further inspection, turn out to be selfish, egotistical and shallow. Remember the poison apple in Snow White? It was all shiny and bright red. It looked delicious and inviting. But it was only an illusion.
Such people can hide for years beneath the VENEER of “nice”, “giving”, “caring”, “decent” and “respectable” (the list goes on and on…), but eventually cracks begin to appear in their “surface” and they start to show their true nature, and their selfish and corrupt core. Similar to Sauder furniture, like you can buy at K-Mart – they are all particle-board at the core – but with a thin cherry-wood-looking plastic veneer to make them look better in the light of day.
The cracks usually begin to show in their shiny, plastic surface during times of stress. It’s already gotta be hard for them to walk around and “appear” to be decent because it goes against their true nature. If you don’t believe it – try to go around for just one week and try to convince others you are someone you aren’t. Heck – try it for a day. I think you may find the stress is unbearable. The fear of being found out, of others realizing you are a liar and a fraud. You see – I think most of the time, bad people know they are bad. They may lie to themselves to help them live with it. And they may use justifications with themselves to stomach their actions – but deep down in their core… I think they know.
You see… I’ve had some experience with these people. I knew a guy once who befriended me for over a year. He would say things to me and do things for me that convinced me he wanted to be a friend and that the both of us would benefit from it. He thanked me for inviting him to church, telling me, with tears in his eyes, how he credited me with restoring his faith in God, in the teachings of Jesus and in spirituality. He would tell me how thankful he was for inviting him to share holidays with my family, since he was so far from his own. He shared his feelings, thoughts and emotions with me, which in turn led me to open up to him about things I would feel, or think, or do. In the end – he was a total fraud and a liar. Turns out he was obsessed with me and had plans all along to “win” me over and “make” me fall in love with him. He joined my church to be near me. Went through my computer, journal and anything he could get his hands on to use as leverage to a) get to know me better and b) to try and blackmail me. He illegally logged into my Toll-Tag records to track where I was going in town. And sure there were red-flags or “cracks” in his veneer along the way. But I was trying to be a good Christian and a good friend, by forgiving him and giving him yet another chance.
But this story isn’t about him… not exactly. It’s about someone else like him. And today, it’s about a particular person who has finally shown her true colors. Not to everyone mind you, but only to a select few who she has deemed “disposable” and “expendable”. This is a story about another bad apple. We’ll call her Kristin, because that is her name… and there is no innocence to protect here.
Here’s a pre-warning before you read any further. Kristin uses MySpace. She has a profile and will read your profile if she has access. She will also use any information she finds on your profile as she see’s fit. I think most of you should be ok – but you never know. Also, what you are about to read could be graphic in nature and should not be read by those who are easily shaken or disturbed by harsh words or offended by ugly truths. I may be tempted to use the word BITCH a time or two… or more. Read only at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN CAUTIONED! Oh… and bye-the-way – any resemblance to real people is purely intentional (or is it coincidental?) – but probably will induce the guilty party to get her panties in a wad! Finally, for the full effect and in order for you to really feel the foundational soundtrack for the subject of this story, you should play Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous Girl” and over-dub it with Elton John’s “The Bitch Is Back”. Preferably in Surround Sound.
Kristin came into my life because she works with my partner, Al. I met her for the first time when I went to have lunch with Al. She seemed nice enough and was eager to befriend people, having just moved with her daughter to Dallas from Austin. Her husband was still in Austin trying to sell their house and he was also trying to find a job in the Dallas area so that he could join them. During that first lunch, I noticed she did a lot of gossiping about people from her work. This was not unusual to me but something about her vibe came off as if she thought she was above and better than everyone else with whom she worked. I later told Al that Kristin “seemed” nice, but that he should be careful to not get caught up in her gossip and that he should insist on maintaining a professional relationship at work.
A few weeks later I met Kristen’s husband when she invited Al and I to go out with them. She wanted us to show them around and asked us to suggest the best night clubs to visit. We started out in Deep Ellum but there wasn’t much going on and the music wasn’t what she wanted to dance to – so we told her that we could try TMC – a gay dance club. We ended up going there and having a good time. During the evening another friend from her work came to join us, and I discovered that her husband and I do basically the same kind of work. I told him that if he would send me a résumé, I would look it over and forward it to HR or any recruiters I knew. He was very gracious and thankful. She was somewhat disinterested.
It wasn’t long after this that Kristin invited us again to a birthday party for herself at her apartment. She had also invited other people from her work, including another gay man, who brought his boyfriend. Over the course of time, this other gay man would become her close confidant and babysitter when she wanted to go clubbing, or visit with other men… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
What’s important to remember is that Kristin initiated the so called “friendships” with Al, myself and the others. Her husband was still living in Austin and only met us through her. He was also blissfully unaware that she was already sleeping around on him, and making plans for her future without him.
About a week later, I received his résumé, which I worked on with him via email to get it into what I considered better shape. He was also pursuing certification which would make him even more marketable as he tried to find something that would allow him to join his family.
Not long after, I heard the first of many rumors that Kristin was considering leaving her husband. I was saddened because we had just begun to know them as a couple, and we liked them both.
For Halloween, Kristin had decided she wanted to hang out in the gay section of Dallas and take part in the costume revelry and parade going on down there. She asked if she could hang out with Al and I. She had already told me about the costume she and her husband would wear. But when the night came – she had her costume with her but not her husband. Instead she had a gay friend with her. I thought it odd that her husband was not with her, and when I asked her about it, she was vague and kind of rolled her eyes saying he couldn’t make it.
To move the story along… Kristin had decided that she was going to do her own thing, on her own. She said she wanted to join a rock band and asked if we knew anyone who could help her with that. She also started telling her “close friends” about the other men she was sleeping with. It seemed VERY important to her that she let everyone know she was now an independent, strong woman. She started blogging about it on her MySpace and started to write obscure poems.
As things moved forward, I told Kristin and her husband that I did not want to be in the middle of their issues. Al and I let them know we like them both and wanted to be friends with them both, but we asked them specifically not to involve us in their problems. But, in the middle is precisely where Kristin wanted us. Once her husband realized she was not amenable to counseling and making amends, he decided to start planning for his own future as a single father. This seemed to completely confound Kristin because she planned on calling all the shots. She became very angry, suspicious and childish – going even so far as to block certain people from reading her blogs on MySpace. I wanted to remain supportive so I just brushed it off as childishness.
For Christmas, Kristin had her daughter during the actual holidays. So I invited her husband to have Christmas dinner at my house with my wife and kids. He was very grateful – and almost backed out when he thought it might cause a problem at work for Al. I left it up to him, but explained that we often had friends over at Christmas and he was more than welcome. He decided to join us and we all had a great holiday.
In the end, being a friend was turned into an unfortunate lesson that really hurt only two people, Kristin’s husband and her daughter.
During a custody hearing this week, in which Kristin and her husband were both vying for full custody, Kristin cast off her veneer and showed her true self. She did this by attacking her husband and everyone else who had befriended her in Dallas, whom she felt could be used to help her lie to the judge and gain full custody of her daughter.
Her husband was grilled about his sexual identity. He was quizzed as to the nature of his relationship with myself and Al. Our MySpace blogs, which are certainly in the public domain, were used to skew the picture of a platonic friendship and healthy support, and used to suggest that “maybe” something more was going on. She used homophobia to smear the reputation of her straight but too-kind husband. She lied to the judge about her own friendships and did nothing to underline the fact that her husband ONLY knew us because of her. It is well known that she let a gay man babysit her daughter. She invited gay men and gay couples to parties where her daughter was present. She bragged of at least three other men she was sleeping with before her husband was even aware she wanted to separate. Who knows if there were others she kept to herself. One of the men she is still seeing. So there’s another person who is in line to be hurt by all of this. But when it comes to sex, love or infatuation – no one can open your eyes for you!
So now I’m thinking… this story is already too long. It’s filled with fact, rumor, innuendo and second-hand information. Are there details missing? Most certainly! Enough to turn this blog into a novel! Is the story told objectively? I’ve been as objective as I know how, especially considering that I am one of the persons who was used by Kristin for her own agenda. Is the story over? Don’t you wish it was? I know I do – but there are still others in Kristin’s life who are unaware of what she has done and what she is capable of doing when she decides to be finished with them. Also remember, there is a child involved. These two parents will need to continue to raise that child and hopefully do it with dignity, respect and sacrifice. I have no doubt the father can live up to the task – he’s already proven that. But the mother, Kristin, still needs to learn that her daughter, and the example she sets for her, are more important than Mommy getting into a rock band, or wearing a Wonder Woman costume to a gay Halloween party, or even getting her snatch itched (or is it her itch scratched?) once in a while. I have no real problem with someone being a slut or even a whore, as long as they can be honest with themselves and others. I have a huge problem with someone being a liar and a user!
So now you see… the answer is “Yes” boys and girls… good people can do bad things. And bad people can do good things. But really shitty people do bad things to good people just to fill their own selfish needs.
Oh and lest I forget to give in to my own childish temptation… Kristin is a BITCH!
WOOF ya later!
~ bbw
